The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
by Crystal Kitty
Summary: RK-YYH-YGO, the characters play parts in this wonderful game, and make it quite the humorous tale! Written by Crystal & Earendil


The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

Chapter 1

"Link's Awakening"

**Crystal: o.o Wow, we live on now don't we? n.n We have some new ideas though- and will have new stories... -.- Just putting up the two most popular; SBM, and Legend of Z! Teehee!**

**Earendil: oO; Legend of Z? **

**Crystal: ... D.D Legend O' Z... Yes, yes it 'tis. **

**Earendil: o.O;;;; Well, anyway- we have some great ideas for new stories, so see to this that this story is the last old one to come back. **

_**Characters: **_

_**Kenshin: Link**_

_**Kurama: Navi**_

_**Saitou: Princess Zelda **_

**_Seto: Mido _**

**_Hiei/Random character/_**

**_Jin/Random character/ _**

_**Tea: Ganondork (Or fork... -.- Whatever you wish really) **_

_**Kaoru: Saria ** _

**_Sano: Deku Tree _ **

_**(Those are just the basics for now) **_

Chapter 1: Link's Awakening

Link/Waking up/

Navi: -.- Gosh, what an opening; so there we have people- Link's Awakening!

Link/Rubs eyes/ Whe-where am I?

Navi: In the Kokiri Village, of course.

Link: o.o What the oro?

Navi: ...

Link: ... I was in the dojo a few minutes ago; I fell asleep and-

Navi: ... Forget the past, this is the work of the SBM-Corporation, Character's Fund of the New Merit for Life, and the Foundation of Character Recyclying all placed and ruled by Earendil and Crystal.

Link: ... -.- Oh

Navi: -.- That's right, a new story.

Link: ... oh

Navi: ... /Ahem/ We need to go to the Deku Tree quick! He told me to come get you! Oh and I am your fairy from now on!

Link: O.O NO!

Navi: ... oO; What?

Link/Looking out window/ It's filled with little people!

Navi: ... You are one of those "little people"

Link: ... T.T No, why me?

Navi: Well, let's get going!

Link: T.T Yessir.

Navi: First, you will need a sword; and shield! So let's get going and crawl away to get it!

Link: ... -.- I already have a sword! MY INFAMOUS SAKABATOU/Has nothing/

Navi: ... Role-play, it's not with you now.

Link: T.T Darn it.

**And so Link climbed his ladder, and began searching for a sword; he met quite a few lovely Kokiri people who seemed to care about him so much... **

Kokiri Person: Hey Saria's looking for you!

Link: n.n Thanks!

Kokiri Person 2: Saria wants to see you!

Link: How pleasant!

Kokiri Person 3: WHAT A LOSER! YOU FINALLY GOT YOUR FAIRY!

Link: ... /Walks on by/ o.o

Navi: ... -.- Don't bother, you were the weirdo of the clan at some point

Link: -.- Yay.

Navi: Hey look a hole in the wall, let's crawl through it!

Link: ... /Begins to crawl through hole/

Navi: I think this is where the sword is! Isn't this great, we're already succeeding!

Link/Sees light/

/Triumphant Music/

Navi: YOU'RE GONNA MAKE IT! WE'RE GONNA BE HEROES!

Link: n.n Oro- O.O AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Boulder/Runs over Link/

Link: -.v You didn't tell me about A BOULDER!

Venus Fly-Trap Monster/Eats Link/

Navi: -.- Small details, Link, they were all small details.

VFTM/Spits Link out/ RAWR!

Link: O.X OR A MONSTER! I'LL BE DEAD BEFORE WE FIND THA-

Boulder/Runs over Link/

**GAME OVER. **

Link/Wakes up/

Navi: ...

Link: o.o I'm back here, in my room, again!

Navi: ... That's what happens when you die

Link: -.- I was almost happy about death.

Navi: -.- Weren't we all.

Link: ... ;

**And so, our unsung hero's continued with their- **

Link: OH! Around the hill, over the mountain, over the seas, and over the wind we HEAR OUR HERO'S SONG! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! ROUND TWO! Around the hill, over the mountain, over the seas, and over the wind we sing about praise and dazed over the wondrous HEROES!

Navi: -.- Oh god.

**... Oh god is right, as our heroes near reared the corner and saw a blockade of the tunnel to the GREAT DEKU! **

Mido /Seto: Get lost.

Link: o.o But I traveled through snow, wind, graves, mountains, monsters, beasts, boulders, waterfalls, forests, vallies, ranches, cities, towns, villages, electro-magnectic waves, AND TORTURE TO GET HERE!

Mido: Liar, I saw you get out of your house and walk here.

Link: -.- Darn small village.

Mido: ... Again. Get lost.

Link: You know what! Fine! How about you get lost, OR I WILL!

/Awkward Silence/

Navi: -.- I should have a high salary on this particular job.

Mido/Stare/

Link: ... 9.9 Wait, did I say that right?

Mido: ...

Link: ... /Ahem/ ;.; I really wanna see Lord Deku-Man.

Mido: ... -.- He's a Deku... Tree... The Great Deku-Tree...

Link: -.- Shoot.

Navi: Shoot him, yes.

Mido: v.v Just go get yourself a stupid shield, and I WILL CONSIDER you coming over here.

Navi: ... -.- Come on Link, let's leave him to his scowling.

Link: He said considering-

Navi: Synonyms, Link, synonyms.

Link: oO BUT WAIT! Where shall I get this... Shield?

Navi: ... o.o From the store

Link: -.- Oh. /Walks into store/

Bell: Ding ding ding!

Owner: n.n Hi guys!

Link: Hey Bill.

Bill: o.o My name isn't Bill! It's Aaa...

Everyone/Stare/

Kokiri Person 4: No, seriously, that's his name...

Link: oo; Oh. Hello... "Aaaaaa"

Aaa: No, no, just Aaa...

Link: ... So, Bill-

Aaa: T.T

Link: I was wondering, if you can give me that shield?

Aaa: That will be 40 Rupees.

Kokiri Person 7/Jumps from ceiling/ n.n But you lucky trickster, you! YOU ARE OUR 2nd PERSON TO COME IN HERE THIS YEAR! SO YOU WIN THIS DARN SHIELD FOR FREE! WAHOO!

Aaa: n.n Yay/Hands it to Link/ Here you go, Linko-head!

Link: o.o Uuuh- thanks.

Navi: o.o;;;; Business must be bad here.

Link/NodsLeaves store/

Navi: -.- Let's go show that Mido what we're made of!

Link: oo; Gosh, is that safe?

Navi: ... /Stare/ ... -.- Ju- Just come on.

Link: n.n Hi Mido-Head!

Mido: -.- Never call me that.

Link: o.o Yessir. /To Navi/ The clerk called me Linko-head, I didn't mind.

Navi: -.- That was you Link, only you... /Ahem/ Well, Mido we have a shield and a sword, so let us pass!

Mido: ... You shall not pass

Navi: ... Rawr

Link: -.- This is all very nice that we are all very fond of the Lord of the Rings; but seriously, not now people.

Navi: -.- Fine. Let us go.

Mido: Never... v.v You don't deserve to go! You're all losers, like Yugi and YB! THE LOT OF YOU LOSERS!

Navi: ...

Link: ... n.n At least we're a lot of losers!

Navi and Mido: oO;

Link: Hahaha! Oro, what a laugh!

Mido: ... -.-

Navi: Ok, just let us go Mido!

Mido: -.- No.

Navi: ... -.- You know what? This doesn't happen in the actual game but... Link grab on!

Link: oO; You're a thing of light? Where are your feet?

Navi: -.- Just- grab on.

Link/Holds onto Navi/

Navi: ;.; Pull!

**And so, our hereos soared over Mido...**

Mido: ...

Navi/Picking up Link just a foot above/

Link/Flies into Mido/

Mido: x.x

Navi: -.- Let go.

Link/Falls on Mido/ oo; Was that your plan?

Navi: ... Of course not! Let's go!

**And so our heroes ran through the woods to go see the Great Deku-Tree! **

Link/Walks through tunnel/

Monsters: RAWR! RAWR!

Link: ... /Stare/ ...

Navi: Use your sword!

Link: -.- Naaah... /Ignores them/

**AND SO LIGHT SHONE UPON ALL, AS THEY ENTERED THE DOMAIN OF THE... Deku Tree... **

/Magical Music/

Link: Ooo...

Navi: ... -.- ;;;

Deku Tree /Sano: Welcome, friends of old!

Link: ... Sano?

Deku Tree: ... Yea?

Link: O.O THIS IS THE GREAT DEKU TREE! ARE YE MAD?

Deku Tree: ... No, just- /Reads tag on tree costume/ Made in China.

Link/Twitch/ NOT MADE! Mad! ... -.- Orororo.

Navi: ;.; I looked up to you, and you were just some - ... You were just Sano

Deku Tree: -.- Role-play!

Navi: -.-;

Deku Tree/Ahem/ Now I have a really long speech to tell you; and it goes a little something like this:

**I have summoned you here today, to ask you to rid of a curse that is within meonly then can we continue on with matters. **

Navi: ... Gosh, you literally barreled us to sleep there... You know, with that long speech... -.-

Deku Tree: n.n Yay! I'm a boring old tree-man! -.- I take my role very seriously, thank you.

**Inside the Great Deku Tree **

Navi: Cut down those little trees to get Deku sticks!

Link/Does so/ This seems rather cruel

Navi: -.- Your main goal is to find the Spiritual stone of the Tree not to hug the monsters.

Link: -.- Oh.

Navi: Oh on the second floor; I am getting a reading that you will find a sling-shot.

Link: ... /Begins climbing ladder/ Not so hard.

Navi: Now - look around.

Spider: O.O BUGHAAAA!

Link: O.O AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Spider: O.O UGHAAAAAARGH!

Navi: -.- REMEMBER LINK IT'S MORE AFRAID OF YOU THAN YOU ARE OF IT!

Spider: O.o WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Link: T.T Eeee.

Navi: -.- Kill it.

Link/Slashes through it/ ORO! NOW I HAVE DEFEATED ALL EVIL! I have traveled long, and hard to reach my goals and now I am most powerful, and most sacred to these lands of which Kokiri dwell! I HAVE SAVED MAN-KIND!

Navi: Not yet you idiot; that's just a random monster.

Link: -.- Oh.

Navi: There are random babies of the big boss nearby so watch out!

Baby Gohma: O.O RAWR/Bites off Link's Head/

Navi: O.O

**GAME OVER **

/Link outside of tree/

Deku Tree: oO; What happened?

Link: o.o It's all a blur really.

Navi: -.- His head was bitten of from a Baby Gohma.

Link: oO; Is that what it was? I don't reme-

Navi: ... You wouldn't know, you were numb!

Link: n.n How true! Haha! FORTH INTO THE TREE/Runs in/

/2nd Floor/

Baby Gohma: O.O RAWR!

Link/Kills itStomps on it/

Navi: Good job!

Link: -.- Let's kill us some baby.

Navi: o.o

Link/Kills Baby 5/ -.- Come on, let's see you go.

Gohma Baby 6: -.- Raaawr.

Link: ... -.-

Gohma Baby 6: -.- ... O.O RAAWR/Tackles Link/

Link/Strangles baby Gohma to floor/ HA/Kills it/

Navi: o.o This is getting a bit violent.

Link: Anymore?

Navi: oO; Not in the vicinity.

Link: -.- Ha. /Climbs vines into Level 2/

Spiders on Vines: o.O

Link: -.- Don't touch me.

Spiders: ... /Salute/

Navi: oo;;;;; ... Look we're on the third floor, so you have to burn away that door! There is some fire; get it on that stick you found!

Link: n.n Yay/Places flame on door/

Door/Blows up in flame/

Link: o.o Oro.

**After hours of battling spiders, gold skulled spiders, Baby Gohma Eggs, vines, entanglements in fire, pools of monsters, findings of a compass... They reached final level; first to meet up with some Deku Scrubs who were making it hard to enter the room where the chambers door was concealed. **

Deku Scrubs: YOUR MOTHER LOOKS LIKE US! WAHAHA!

Deku Scrub 3: You idiot, that's an insult to us too!

Deku Scrub 2: ... -.- Gosh, we're dumb.

Navi and Link: oO;

Navi: -.- Kill them.

Link: n.n With pleasure... -.- /Gets out shield, Z-targets/ SHOOT ME!

Deku Scrubs: WOO/Attack, sadly they don't use their heads and are attacked with their own attack/

Navi: n.n Yay for you Kenshin!

Link: n.n Yay for me!

**To save everyone from boredom we fast-forward- to where this dungeon has awaited... THE QUEEN GOHMA! **

Navi: This is it. Enter.

Link/Enters/

Navi: ...

Link: It seems peaceful, nothing's anywhere really.

Navi: Seems so...

/Noises above heard/

Navi: Well, word of advise: Attack the Eye

Link: n.n Okies! Oro!

Queen Gohma/Jumps to ground/

Link: O.O WHAT THE ORO? THAT'S A PARASITIC ARMORED ARACHNID, RIGHT THERE!

Navi/Flies to sidelines/ -.- /Eating popcorn/ Darn right! GO KENSHIN!

Link: o.o;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Gohma /Pegasus: n.n Hohoho!

Link: ... -.- Eeeewwww...

Gohma: n.n ... Come on now, let's see you attack me!

Link: o.o /GulpTakes sword/

Navi: That's right, now- run and attack the EYE!

Link/Closes eyes/ v.v Have I done it yet?

Gohma/Takes out 1000 Ways to Cook the Hero of Time/ -.- Tell me once he's neared me.

Navi: Y.Y Why, Link? Just attack!

Link: Becausehe's a giant arachnid...

Navi: -.- Darn it.

Link/Opens eyes/ I'M COMING BEAST!

Gohma/Looks up from book/ Goody.

Link/Drops sword, charges at Gohma/

Navi: O.O WITH YOUR SWORD LINK! WITH! WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?

Link: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! o.o

Gohma: o.O' Strange one aren't you/Swats Link away/

Link/Hits wall/ v.v Ugh- I- I can't make it.

Navi: ... T.T Sure you can...

Link: x.o Go on- without meblaaah...

Navi: -.- Stop faking death, get up there and kill it!

Gohma: I AM A HIM, not an IT!

Navi: SURE YOU ARE!

Gohma: -.- No respect these days.

_OA/Throwing rocks at Pegasus/ _

Everyone: o.O What the heck was that?

Back to Game-

Link: FINE/Takes sword, swings it at Gohma's Eye/

Gohma; O.O /Twitching/

Link: I GOT YOU!

Navi: HIT IT AGAIN!

Link/Hitting it constantly/

Gohma/Explodes/

Link: Yay! n.n I think it's raining!

Navi: O.O IT'S RAINING IT'S CHILDREN DARN IT!

Link: o.O Hm?

Baby Gohma: GRRR!

Link: O.O AAARGH!

**And so after 20 minutes of constant fighting with the baby arachnid, all died. Evil defeated, level 1, dungeon 1. **

Link: I DID IT!

Navi: n.n THAT YOU DID!

/Light from center of roomPiece of heart/

Link/Takes it/ I'm heartful!

Navi: -.- Whatever you say.

/They disappear back in front of the Deku Tree/

Deku Tree: n.n Quite a battle, Link!

Link: u.u I know, I know.

Navi: Mr. Full of Himself.

Link: Not true. u.u Just full of honor, and strength.

Navi: 9.9

Deku Tree: Well- I have a mission for you-

Link: O.O IT'S NOT OVER!

Deku Tree: ... Of course not, that's just the beginning!

Link: T.T

Navi: T.T It's alright, they tricked me too.

**So- the Deku Tree told them the horrid story of Ganondorf, AKA Ganondork who was threatening to rule all of Hyrule! He told him that he was human.**

Link: O.O I'M A WHAT!

**He told him there were worst things to come. **

Link: O.O WHAT!

**He told him, that this first Stone of the First was well enough deserved, yet there needed to be three... **

Link: T.T Noooooooo

**Tune in next time when Link and Navi continue their adventure!**


End file.
